Keep calm and love your immune system

From personal experience, training and research in bio-medicine, nutrition and NLP, I have learned that we have an amazing immune system that works hard, all the time, to keep us in a state of health. When we give it the right environment to do so, it will thrive. When we don’t, it can’t function so well. We can ‘feed’ it with food and water that will nourish every cell, tissue and organ or we can feed it foods that harm it. And that’s not all. When we are stressed we activate the fear centre in the brain and this leads to a downgrading of the immune system. The opposite is also true. When we are calm, relaxed, happy – those wonderful, clever immune cells get a boost, renew, repair, re-energise and get to work for us, protecting our health, just as they are designed to do.

As a wellbeing coach, I do my best to live by the principles I believe in, to practice what I preach. And yet in these last couple of months, especially the last few weeks, I too have had my ‘wobbles’. On top of the ‘noise’ of all that is happening in the world, I’ve had a family bereavement and other personal tricky moments that have meant I’ve felt ‘off kilter’ at times. For us coaches, there is often an expectation that we know better, that we live this life of peace and harmony – all the time. Let me tell you, unless you’re living a life of devotion on top of a mountain, that’s not true! I came into this career because I’d been chronically stressed for years and ended up with cancer so calmness and peace don’t always come naturally to me, yet. They take daily, conscious practice. I do it though, because, as the ad says ‘I’m worth it’ – and so are you.

In these testing times when most of what we’re hearing, seeing or reading is about this pandemic, restrictions and fears for the future, as well as dealing with day to day challenges in all of our lives, it can feel overwhelming, frightening, and sometimes out of our control.

When I feel this way, I draw on what I know and believe in, in order to interrupt the patterns of anxiety, worry and stress and bring myself back into a state of balance and calm. I now know that we have a choice. We don’t have to be victims of our thoughts and emotions. We can learn to notice how we feel, become more conscious of what we’re thinking and then draw on a range of resources; tools in our mental and emotional toolbox, and use them to change our state of wellbeing.

Each of us have different ‘tools’ that will work for us, and that’s OK. Here’s a few of mine, tried and tested, so if you need a few more, give them a go. It helps to physically move, letting the brain know that it’s interrupting the pattern, so I get up, move around, look out of the window or take myself out of the house and walk in nature. I talk to those I love and tell them how I feel, listen to my favourite music (I’ve got a playlist for different moods), exercise in whatever way feels right for me at the time, meditate – even if it’s just 5 minutes or an hour of Joe Dispenza, practice gratitude (it really works!), cook (food really is medicine), read, watch something funny or listen to one of my ‘go-to guru’s’, anything, to shift my state.

I’ve learned that I have a choice to see the world as a safe or scary place. I’m not in denial, I know that there are scary things happening, most of which I can’t control. What I can control is what I focus on. Energy flows where focus goes and I’d rather focus on the good, the people doing great things, being amazing and compassionate and most importantly, the things I can control such as my wonderful intelligent, complex immune system that has been serving us modern humans well for 200,000 years, and giving it the right environment to thrive.

The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe” Albert Einstein

We can of course choose to sit back, live in fear, wait, ‘outsource’ our health as if there’s nothing we can do to help ourselves. I’ve felt sad and dismayed to hear several people recently say “if I get this virus, I’m done for”. What a frightening belief to have, when around the world, many elderly people, and those considered ‘seriously at risk’ are recovering well. We hear less about these people though and sadly, some are learning to believe they are ‘doomed’. They’re not.

Alternatively, we can choose to see this pandemic as a wake up call to improve both our minds and bodies, to ‘up the odds’ of protecting ourselves and making our wellbeing more of a priority than we have in the past. To understand that whilst we obey the rules and protect each other at the moment, we can, at the same time, start to take the better care of ourselves, feel purposeful and positive about our health and remind ourselves what powerful, resilient, creatures we humans are.

We can choose to love ourselves enough to nourish our bodies through food and nurture our minds in ways that will give the immune system what it needs to thrive. We can remind ourselves of what we’ve forgotten over generations and reconnect with our own healing.

In this video, I’ll give you a few ideas of how you can start the journey, take small steps to building a resilient immune system, through choosing what to eat and reducing stress, to serve you well now and in the long run. It may take a shift in thinking, doing things a bit differently but won’t it be worth it to feel it’s in our control to live a more contented, healthier life?

Managing Stress: Why now is the perfect time to take control.

Right now, many of us are living lives very differently. We are experiencing changes that we never imagined. Whether we are working long hours in front line services, unemployed, furloughed, working from home, home schooling, caring for others, volunteering, being shielded or have been sick or bereaved, the changes have been sudden and in most cases, quite drastic. Change can feel liberating, exciting, peaceful but it can also be stressful as our bodies and minds deal with the new normal and process the thoughts feelings and emotions that these circumstances create.

Stress is a fact of life, it’s natural and it can be helpful and constructive in the short term but extremely harmful to our mental and physical health if it continues and becomes long term, or chronic. In this current health crisis, managing our levels of stress has never been more important, because chronic stress weakens the immune system. At this time, our immune system is the one amazing thing we have to fight this virus. Even those that are hospitalised and given oxygen and drugs to stabalise their condition are treated this way to give the immune system time to work, ultimately, it’s the body/mind that kills the virus, just like it does with many other pathogens. And we can do so much to allow the immune system to do it’s job well. What we eat, drink, how we move and sleep all affects the cells needed to do this incredible job. And so does how we manage stress. When we are stressed for long periods of time, the body cannot heal itself the way it was designed to do.

So, what happens when we’re stressed? When a stressful, worrying or anxious situation occurs, we activate the ‘fear centre’ in the brain that triggers a cascade of hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline into the bloodsteam that prepares our bodies to fight or flee. So, for those wonderful health and social care staff who are dealing with patients on the front line, stress hormones can be very useful and will give them the burst of energy, the concentration, clarity and speed needed to care, treat and make decisions. This is our natural defense that is a vital part of our survival in times of trouble. We used to use it to run away from saber-toothed tigers, now it’s helpful, not just for the key workers dealing with the pandemic, but also when we do a presentation, play sport, take an exam and so on.

However, when we don’t ‘switch off’ and we stay in a state of stress for long periods of time we become chronically stressed. In a state of chronic stress, we overwork the adrenal glands and the body becomes unable to function properly, mentally, physically and emotionally and we are less able to rest, digest and heal.

“…over time, stress hormones will weaken your immune system and reduce your body’s response to foreign invaders. People under chronic stress are more susceptible to viral illnesses like the flu and the common cold, as well as other infections. Stress can also increase the time it takes you to recover from an illness or injury.”

The good news is that we can learn to manage stress in a way that is helpful and empowering and good for our long term health and wellbeing. We can recognise when the hormones of stress are being released and learn how to switch them off, replacing them with a cocktail of chemicals that give us access to feelings of calm, contentment, peace, love, joy, compassion and so on. And it is in this state that our immune system gets repaired, renewed and stimulated, we are able to digest food effectively, think rationally and sleep well and therefore heal.

Here’s a few ideas of how we can manage stress and help build immunity:

  • Recognise the signs of stress, whether it’s a fast heart rate, feeling tense, exhausted, shaky, anxious, tearful, moody. angry or unable to sleep, eating too much or too little, having headaches or poor concentration. These are just some of the signs that you are still in fight or flight mode. When you become aware of how you feel, you can change it.
  • Take a deep breathe. This allows the mind a moment to pause while you consider all the things you can do to interrupt the pattern of stress and take a conscious decision to change it. You see it’s how you perceive and then react to any situation that determines whether you ‘switch off’ the state of stress or not. The mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined and so when you focus on the worst that could happen, go over and over something bad that has happened, you stay in a state of fear, even if the situation has passed or what might come could be better. So take a breath, focus on the present and make a decision and know that instead of allowing ‘it’ to happen to you, you can, in this moment, take responsibility for how you react to any situation. You have a choice to believe you can control your feelings or that you are at the mercy of them.
  • Physically move to distract the brain. When it’s 3.00 am and you’re wide awake, worries can seem far worse than during day but lying there trying to sleep won’t help, so get out of bed, stretch, make a warm drink (avoiding caffeine), read, or do something relaxing that will distract both your mind and body (avoid screen time though!) and get into the moment, telling yourself you are safe and warm right now. The same applies during the day, if you’re sitting, get up and move, and if you can get do some aerobic exercise, you’ll not only feel energised but the benefits to your mental health both in the long and short term are widely known. If you’re charging around in a state of stress, just stop what you’re doing, take a breath and find something else to look at, hear, do to distract yourself. It brings you into the present moment and gives you that time to choose to take control of your feelings.
  • Nature is where we are meant to be. We are part of it and studies prove that when we see, hear, smell and experience nature, we generate the release hormones such as dopamine and seretonin that help us to feel calm and at peace. And when we are releasing these feel good hormones, we cannot continue to be in a state of stress at the same time. So go for a walk in nature if you can. Just 20 minutes in nature can generate calmness that can last for up to seven hours. And did you know that trees breathe out chemicals that boost the immune system? How amazing is that! So you get more than just a feeling of calm when you’re able to breathe in nature. If you live in a city and don’t have access to a large green space right now, just being outside feeling the breeze and seeing the sky will still help. If you can’t get outside, open a window, listen to the birds, watch the trees or tend a pot plant! It’s still better than not acknowledging nature at all. “Research in a growing scientific field called ecotherapy has shown a strong connection between time spent in nature and reduced stress, anxiety, and depression.”
  • We all like a whinge, don’t we, and the occasional moan doesn’t hurt anyone. However, when this becomes a habit and you waste time and energy thinking or talking to others about what’s wrong with the world, how bad things are or how others are behaving badly, you’re just ramping up the stress. Remember, real or imagined, the body will respond to what you’re feeding it through the mind. The news and media can feed this negativity, the language of fear and devastation is used deliberately to sell stories, so switch off news alerts and be choosey about how, what and when you access news feeds. There’s nothing that is happening that you will need to know urgently, it can wait until a time of your choosing. There is both good and bad stuff happening without your influence so why focus on the bad? Ask yourself, can you do anything about the bad stuff? If not, forget it, it will happen with or without your disapproval. If you can do something about it, do it, help, educate, inform, support. All of these altruistic acts signal the release of feel good hormones, give you a sense of achievement and empowerment and might just help the world become a better place.
  • Write a very specific list of how you want to feel and what you can do to create those feelings. This might seem a bit much, but when you’re feeling stressed it’s hard to think of specific things that will help to make you feel better, it can seem overwhelming and we can get stuck with how we don’t want to feel, and what we don’t want to do and this just keeps the cycle of stress going. So having a go-to list is like getting some great advice from some wise person that loves you and is your best friend! Energy flows where focus goes, so focus on what you can do and how you want to feel instead. Naming those emotions is really important to train your brain to connect with what you want to feel. Language is the code to our thoughts and feelings and studies show that we use far more emotional words connected with worry, stress, anxiety than we do those that generate calm and happiness. You can consciously change this.
  • Thinking about these things and feelings and writing them down is a start but unless you act on them, nothing will change in the long run so once you’ve made the list, decide which things can become part of your daily or weekly routine and which are there as a tool for when you need them.Those things that you’ve decided can help you to enjoy life and feel the way you want to could be incorporated into your life in whatever way works best for you. This helps to keep you consciously in control. When we feel in control, we feel empowered, when we feel empowered, we feel we have a sense of purpose (to keep well) and when we feel like this, we cannot stay in a state of chronic stress.
  • To truly feel those emotions you want and not just think about them you have to use strong ‘anchors’ – these are the triggers that allow you to experience them. For example, music has always been a powerful anchor for me. I have playlists for different moods – calming, uplifting, energising, joyful etc. If I’m finding it tricky to shift worry or stressful feelings, I have a place near where I live that I go to and put on a playlist that always starts with Peter Gabriel’s ‘The Book Of Love’ and I can literally feel my heart open, my energy change and I feel both calm and uplifted. So I’ve physically moved, walked amongst nature and anchored my senses to a song that triggers pure joy. Other anchors might be videos to make you laugh, images that remind you of good times, activities such as gardening, cleaning or exercising to give you energy or meditation, yoga, or a mantra to help you to feel calm and safe.
  • Whether you live alone or with a houseful of people, in these times of forced isolation, you may not be able to be with those that help you to feel better about life ‘in the flesh’ so making time to have a virtual catch up, even over coffee or dinner can help. If you have someone close to talk about how you feel then don’t be afraid to offload. When you acknowledge how you feel it can help to calm you and the feeling of being listened to is therapeutic. Sometimes it’s good just to get confirmation that what you are feeling is normal and that, if you then put into place some of the other suggestions here, it will pass. If it doesn’t, then it’s also OK to seek professional help. When you’re ready to change how you feel, consciously connect with those that create positive energy and make you smile and spend as little time as you need to with those that bring you down. This includes social media. Notice how it makes you feel when you scroll through your news feeds. If it doesn’t feel good, be more selective about what you access. Take time out to be alone if you live with others and nerves are beginning to fray. Explaining that you want time alone may actually be a relief to those around you too!
  • Drink plenty of water. This might sound obvious or may seem unrelated to stress and the immune system, however, most of us are dehydrated and some of the signs and symptoms are the same as those we feel when we’re stressed, such as fatigue, poor concentration and irritability so it’s worth eliminating this as a cause of how you’re feeling, plus, water helps to rid the body of toxins that create inflammation and stress within the body.
  • Eat well. When you’re stressed, you often crave foods that actually make it worse. It’s because the body is craving foods high in sugar to prepare you for running away from a saber-toothed tiger! As that’s unlikely, it just increases the amount of sugar in the blood, which disrupts the endocrine system and so increases stress. Sugar and processed foods are the ones to avoid, despite your cravings. Eating plenty of vegetables and foods containing B vitamins will support your central nervous system and bring your hormones back into balance. For more information on foods that support the immune system, take alook at my previous blog.
  • And lastly, be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up for feeling stressed. We are living in strange times and so rememb that stress is natural, it’s designed to protect us, we just have to learn how to make it work for us instead of against us. And learning takes practice. So, practice self compassion and remind yourself of all you have to be thankful for right now. Wishing you peace, health and happiness.

Working from Home: 10 tips for being at your best in mind, body and soul.

In these challenging times of change and uncertainty, it’s even more important to feel secure, have stability and maintain a sense of purpose amidst the chaos, For most people, the usual work routine has been tossed into the air and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

So, as both a Wellbeing Coach and someone who’s worked from home for a while now, I thought I’d offer some advise and tips for people that are new to this malarkey that just might help you to survive the day with your sanity intact, be productive, effective and at the same time have more energy, focus and feel calmer and happier about your new work-life balance.

The challenges of working from home can at first seem daunting, confusing and isolating. Yet when you put wellbeing at the heart of your planning and conscious thought, it can become rewarding, liberating and leave you feeling mentally and physically in a better place. When you see and feel the benefits of working with your wellbeing as a priority, you’ll want to continue doing so long after the return to the office/shop floor or whatever space you go back to when this craziness is finally over.

1. Start the day well – drink water. We get dehydrated overnight and caffeine won’t replace lost liquid. Dehydration can lead to poor concentration, low energy, mood swings and headaches. Who wants to start with that! So drink a glass of water first thing, I drink it warm with a slice of lemon. First thing is also a good time to move in some way, a bit of yoga stretching, a five minute cardio exercise or a few house chores just livens up the mind and body. You may not have the usual commute, but energise your body to inform the mind that you are preparing for work! Being in the best ‘state’ by getting up at a set time, taking a shower and ‘dressing for work’ will prepare your brain for the day. Eat a healthy breakfast – it doesn’t have to be big, it’s what you eat that’s important so have food that helps you to focus and give you slow release energy through the morning, such as eggs, porridge oats or a home-made green smoothie.

2. Schedule a routine and stick to it. It can be very different from the 9 to 5 you’ve been used to so be flexible enough to find a schedule that will work for you and organised enough to keep to it. If you have children at home, work when you are most available and productive if you can. Set the timer on your phone for specific tasks such as checking emails and having meetings and keep these to small, manageable chunks of time so that you don’t feel overwhelmed or that you’re not managing.

3. Make a list of tasks for each day or week in order of priority and tick them off when completed to help you to focus and feel a sense of achievement. Again be realistic in your new work environment. Don’t put yourself under pressure and stress. Instead be mindful that this is new and will take some getting used to. What was possible before may take more or less time now or you may need to do things in a different way so be kind and patient with yourself.

4. Tell your family, friends and colleagues what hours you will be working. Some people not working from home can find it hard to understand the concept, so make it clear that you are not available 24/7! Having set boundaries so that you are not disturbed and don’t get distracted will help you to focus and stay calm in and out of work mode.

5. During working hours, turn off notifications for social media and group chats to also help reduce distractions and temptation. Turning off news alerts too is a good way to keep calm. Right now, these are full of sad and scary stories that will release stress hormones when you read them and, if those hormones remain in the body, can adversely affect concentration, energy and mood and therefore your ability to work effectively. It’s very unlikely that anything that goes ping on your phone will need reading, answering or knowing urgently. It can all wait until later.

6. Have a designated work space. If you’re lucky enough to have an office at home, use it, but only for your scheduled work time so that you can walk away and switch off. If you don’t have a home office, find a space you can work comfortably in. Somewhere quiet, light and roomy enough. Try to avoid using the bedroom in order to help your mind to understand how you want to be and that when you enter your bedroom, work is off limits and so you are better able to sleep. If you’re short of space and are using an area in your lounge or kitchen, set out your work ‘tools’ in the morning and put them away again at night – even if this is just closing a laptop, it sets an intention that you’re either in work or not.

7. Arrange a time regularly to check in with colleagues for advice and support. Working from home can be isolating and if you don’t say how you feel or ask for help, this can play on your mind, increase anxiety and cause lack of sleep. However, avoid wasting time discussing how bad things are, what doesn’t work and what should be happening. Instead, focus on what is being done and what could work. Remind each other of the transferable skills you all have and above all, take the time to listen to each other. We are social creatures that work best when we collaborate, co-operate and have the courage to show our vulnerabilities.

8. If you have the delights of juggling work with home-schooling and entertaining your children then make sure your employers and team know this and that there might be times when your four year old becomes part of your zoom meeting! If that’s the way it has to be, patience and understanding all round will help you to feel more valued and take the pressure off. That said, for most tasks, don’t try to focus on work and the children at the same time. If you do, very little will be achieved well and could end up taking twice as long. Plan into your day separate times to home-school or play and give the children your full attention. You’ll hopefully find it’s then easier to bribe them with time for their favourite film or game while you focus on work tasks! Remember, you are not superhuman so don’t try to be, just do the best you can and don’t give yourself a hard time if it doesn’t go to plan. Remember, this is new to everyone, including the children.

9. It’s easy to get caught up with jobs, chores and other things and forget to get some fresh air and exercise. Telling yourself you don’t have time is not true. It’s all a question of priorities. If you are able to get outside, do so, especially somewhere where you can be around nature. Studies have shown that just 20 minutes of being in nature releases chemicals into the bloodstream that make you feel calmer, more relaxed and happier and that this can last for up to seven hours. A 20 minute walk will also oxygenate your blood, give you energy, sharpen your mind and increase your vitamin D levels. Exercise in or outdoors will of course provide vitality and release endorphins that will lower stress and give you a feeling of wellbeing to tackle whatever the day throws at you. If you are unable to go outside due to restrictions, open windows at opposite ends of your home and let the air blow through. And believe it or not, those feel good chemicals get released even when you just look at trees, plants and hear birdsong. After all, it’s our natural state of being so why shouldn’t it be good for us.

10. Take a break to eat a healthy meal in order to replenish energy, nourish your cells so that they can repair and renew and help keep your mind active and in optimum working order for the rest of the day. Moving away from your work space helps you to eat in a state of relaxation. When you focus on work whilst you eat, the sympathetic nervous system is activated, meaning you are in ‘stress mode’. This disrupts digestion, which can lead to bloating, cramps, IBS and poor absorption of nutrients, so even if you eat a healthy lunch, you won’t get he benefit. Having a break away from your work space and eating well doesn’t have to be hard, expensive or time consuming. It’s all about eating real, nourishing food.

One day we’ll be able to look back on this crazy time and talk about what we did, how we changed and what we learned. Despite all the sadness and restrictions, we will have the chance to let some good come from it all and take the lessons learned with us into the new normal that is on it’s way.

How to have a better day.

I’ll be honest, I’m not feeling at my best today. As a wellbeing coach, it’s often hard to admit this. Aren’t I supposed to have all the answers and be able to both think and eat my way to perfect health??

I wish. Instead, I’m sat at home feeling ‘under the weather’ – what a strange expression that is. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit crap and taking my own advice of rest, fluids and good food. I’ve also just had a delivery of some new flooring (living the dream😂), which has prompted me to write this instead of doing my accounts, to enhance my emotional and mental state (I know, just procrastinating really!)

So back to the flooring, when I answered the door to the delivery man, he took one look at me, sighed, shook his head and asked if there was someone to help him unload it (clearly I didn’t fit the bill.)

When I said no, just me, he huffed and puffed and mumbled something about should’ve been told there wasn’t someone with a lifting mechanism or something I couldn’t quite hear. I told him I just ordered the stuff and it wasn’t my problem, to which he reluctantly agreed.

Anyway, after some persuasion he began moving the flooring into the garage whilst telling me what a bad day he was having, how his previous customer had been out and how he’d wasted so much time already. There were several pauses in his comments, with a glance in my direction, hoping, I think, for some sympathy. He did’t get any.

In a last-ditch attempt he began to pour out his story of how he had a leak in his house LAST CHRISTMAS and how he was still battling with insurers! How he’d had to move out for a while, start from scratch…and so on. While he was telling me, he kept pausing, looking me in the eye, waiting for me to offer some crumbs of comfort, understanding and attention for his sorry tale.

I don’t think he liked my reply much. I said how lucky he was to at least be safe, warm and dry and back in his home now. He did a double take, gave me a look of confusion like I was speaking some strange and ancient code and then said, grudgingly ‘I suppose so.’ There’s not a lot you can do when someone speaks a language you don’t understand or know what to do with, so it drew our encounter to a close, which I was glad about as I was bloody freezing, aware of managing my state and taking care of myself like a good coach should.

You see this man was not only having a bad day, but a bad life. His story was one of ‘poor me’ and he’d learned unconsciously to feel more important/loved/wanted or something similar by telling his story of everything that was wrong in his life. And in focusing all his thoughts and energy on that, he was living in a state of unhappiness, a victim of circumstances and he didn’t know that he was doing it or that he could do anything about it because it was unconscious, such a ‘normal’ way for life for him, that he hadn’t considered an alternative.

He didn’t know that he could choose to feel better/more important/loved/wanted by smiling, engaging positively with his customers, employers, insurers or whoever and that he could learn to value himself and change the limiting beliefs he holds unconsciously by noticing his thoughts and language.

We can all become a self-detective. We can discover what’s going on in our unconscious mind by listening, noticing, watching what we say and what we think. That will give us clues as to what’s going on up there. And if it leaves you feeling uncomfortable, change it. Then, we can stop believing the bad stuff and start to believe in something better. Just because we believe something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s usually learned beliefs from childhood. Still doesn’t mean it’s true.

Now I’m not saying it’s always easy. Today, I’m not at my best so I’m having to dig deep so that I don’t feel too sorry for myself and end up thoroughly miserable as well as having some sort of cold virus.

And I’m not making light or being flippant about mental health issues either. For some, the story they tell themselves is so deep and damaging that professional help is needed to be able to move forward. The point I’m trying to make is that with or without help, we all have the ability to make changes and to put ourselves at cause, not effect, in our lives. To take ownership of what we think, how we respond and what we do with the kind of things that happen to all of us at times, like having a water leak or getting a cold, and even death, divorce and destruction. To be able to move on after a period of sadness, grief, upset, anger or just a mild annoyance when something bad happens is what determines whether you have mostly good days or bad days. The choice is yours.

Stress, Me and the Honey Bee

In his book ‘Becoming Supernatural’, Joe Dispenza likens living in a state of chronic stress to driving with one foot on the break, the other on the accelerator. Well, I’ve never actually tried it but when I read this I knew how it felt. It perfectly described how life used to be for me. Living in a state of stress had become ‘normal’. So much so, I had no idea there was anything wrong. Until, of course, to continue the metaphor, the damn wheels came off.

Now it’s a different story. I am much more aware, and know how to return my mind and body to a state of calm and when I do, I also get to experience joy, gratitude, love and just feeling pretty good about life. These emotions cannot be truly felt when we’re chronically stressed as the mix of chemicals that get released into the bloodstream when we’re stressed are very different to those that are triggered by higher emotions. And they can’t all be there at the same time.

That’s not to say it’s always easy. My old stress-inducing habits can creep up on me because sometimes, I still don’t think I’m good enough. Being aware though, means I can change my state at will. One day last week, I got some help from an unexpected source.

Sitting in my conservatory, I was doing some admin work on my website and social media (not my favourite job). I could feel my stress levels rising and knew my thoughts of lack of self-belief were intruding and threatening to overwhelm me. I stopped what I was doing, took a deep breath and glanced down at the floor. There, crawling in front of my foot was a honey bee and he looked in a bad way. He’d obviously been trapped in there all night and was literally, on his last legs.

Now wild honey bees are a rare and beautiful thing so I knew I had to get him outside pretty quickly. I scooped him onto a piece of paper and tossed him gently out of the window. No sooner had I let him go, I realised he’d landed in a thick, sticky spider’s web. I was horrified! I couldn’t just sit and watch the poor thing struggle to his demise.

So it began, operation bee rescue. I went outside, plucked him from the web and brought him back into the house. His body was wrapped tightly in the viscous strands and he was barely moving. I went to get my tweezers and nail file and set to work. Piece by piece I began by holding him down with the nail file and untangling him with the tweezers, freeing one leg and each wing at a time.

He was lying on his side, very still, so when I’d done all I could to remove the web, I mixed together a honey and water solution, put a small drop on a saucer and laid the bee gently next to it, propping it up on it’s crumpled legs. To my relief, he started drinking down the sugary nourishment.

They say bees get drunk on nectar, and I reckon that’s what happened. When he’d had his fill, he began thrashing around, unable to walk. He kept falling over and finally fell into the honey and water. This seemed to be going from bad to worse.

For a moment I thought he’d OD’ed! Maybe he’d just passed out, he was certainly very still. As a last ditch attempt to save him, I scooped him back onto a piece of paper, placed him in the sunlight to warm up and dry off (or maybe sleep it off!). Anyway, I watched him closely, looking for signs of life. I noticed he was breathing, and within a few minutes he began to stretch his wings, laying them out to catch the sun’s rays. Gradually, he started to move his wobbly legs and finally grooming his head, body, legs and wings to remove every last trace of web, honey and anything else that shouldn’t have been there.

He took his time until, gathering strength and energy and with all the grace and magnificence of his species, he rose triumphantly into the air. I managed to coax him outside and I can’t tell you how bloody great I felt as I watched him fly off into the garden to live his life.

Now, what’s that got to do with stress?

After nearly killing him, I had two choices, leave him, feel bad and go back to telling myself how useless I am at social media or interrupt my thinking, change my focus and do my best to help, feel compassion and work calmly and mindfully at trying to save him.

I had no idea if I’d succeed or not, only that I could try. The outcome wasn’t really in my control, but the process was. And the process was about being in the moment and it changed my state. By the time that bee had flown away, I was feeling a whole range of positive emotions. And when you feel calmness, compassion, empathy, joy, gratitude and downright chuffed, there’s no room for stress.

I hope the little fella is still out there somewhere, getting drunk on nectar, doing other bee things and keeping out of conservatories!

Thanks to my good friend Charlotte Kessler for allowing me to use her beautiful Honey Bee artwork in this blog.